Monday, October 22, 2007

Where are my pants, please?

I am quite disturbed right now... you see, I can't quite find my pants... I know I left them here on the toilet a few days ago... but no matter, I see that you are ready for another story...

Sit down and close your eyes, for I am about to tell you the magical story of Billy the Crackhead.

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Billy. Billy was a young lad who had taken a fancy to one of his little female friends who went to class with him. (Billy had also once taken a fancy to the neighbor's dog, but that's another story for another time.) He was so enamored with this beautiful young lass, that he made her a big valentine for Halloween. He made sure that he addressed it to her specifically, because little Mary Jane lived on what most call "The Bad Part of Town" with the "Undesirables." But little Billy didn't mind because most days little Mary Jane could get him some rather wicked "Blow" from the nice man who stands on the street corner.

So days and days went by, and it finally came to be Halloween. Little Billy dressed up as his favorite thing in the world, Little Mary Jane, which isn't creepy at all! And little Mary Jane had dressed up as one of the "High-class Ladies" who like to walk around on the streets of Mary Jane's "Hood" at night. Little Billy hopped out of his car and made sure that his mini-skit was on just right and just then the nice man who stands on the street corner started yelling at him. "Where my money, Mary Jane???!!!?" He then pulled out a Rather Large Gun and proceeded to blow his brains out.

Mary Jane found out about this and moved to Cuba, where she lives happily with her husband and nineteen children.

Moral: Don't dress up like the girl you want to date. It will get you shot.


Anonymous April26 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:28 PM  
Anonymous CatalinaThePirate said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:30 PM  
Blogger April said...

You! I did not write that and you know it. I am so not that person! wtf?

10:39 PM  

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